Last Week I started a 30 Day Challenge inspired by this video clip. I decided to journey my 30 Days in meditation. So, it’s Day 7 of the 30 Day Challenge and so far I have to admit it has been just that, a challenge. So here is where I admit how I have been spending my last 7 days in meditation. It goes something like this:
Day 1 and 2 I did the meditations lying down, which honestly was a bad idea for the meditation, but a great idea for my sleep deprivation because it resulted in two of the most marvelous naps I have had in a long time. So I ponder as to whether or not I failed my first 2 days, but I deserve and ‘A’ for effort therefore I am just going with it. Day 3-6 I spent my meditation in my studio space after class sitting upright, cross legged, forefinger to thumb, tall & lengthened spine, with my eyes shut for 5 minutes. Yesterday I really got down with myself and threw an “Om, Shanti, Shanti” in there. And yes it felt amazing, silly at first, but amazing. I think any practice of discipline humbles us. It reminds us that we are not the only existence and that we must remember we cultivate our knowledge through our learning experiences- in other words, we don’t just know everything; the things we know only exist because we have experienced them.
The discipline is where I am getting tripped up. Of course I can make every excuse as to why I shouldn’t or can’t do it. Excuses could go on for days, not enough time, it’s too hard, my lower back twinges with slight pain from the seated position, too many thoughts dance around in my head and so on and so forth. Of course, this self talk has been going on for the past 6 days, everyday. It reminds me of studying for an exam when I was in school- if I don’t study I am sure to fail. Now supposedly, there is a reward in all this. Just like the trade off for studying, Easy ‘A’.
I’ve been stumbling on thoughts during my meditation. Thoughts of so many things, to do lists, financial worries, my book, how I will build my business, things I want, future thoughts, and before I know it I’m already dreaming of when I’m 50 and which career I will dabble at a distinguished age. The monkey mind attacks. So, I do just what I tell everyone else during the end of each barre class at Mind Body Barre, I acknowledge each thought and then try to let it go.
The next part is my breathing, which I feel like I am getting a handle on. When I teach in class I emphasize breath so much that my clients probably hear me telling them to breathe in my sleep, as well as a few other catch phrases like, “Shaking and Trembling is GOOD” or “Really Stretch!” or “Get Lower!” …. (sorry!)
What I am finding is that I am learning a lot about myself, and what I believe is probably true for most people. The problem with starting something (or eliminating it from your life) is not finding the time, the motivation or even the desire/need to do it. It’s discipline. Discipline brings about a change, a shift, a mechanism we can innately tap into and pull from when we need to survive. I know this is true of any circumstance. You can apply it anywhere in your life, finances, relationships, eating habits, sleeping habits or even your greatest dreams and desires, it’s the discipline that allows us to create what we see for ourselves.
When we decide what it is we want, we must create it. I think we often want things to change overnight- we want to get out of debt fast, or find the man of our dreams and marry him tomorrow. And before I was Miss Independent, I was Miss Impatient. I am learning that everything is a process, everything starts with a seed and everything grows from nurturing that seed, loving it, watering it and giving it the warmth and energy to grow.
Onward with my meditations….
Take a Class!